Is your experience working against you?

When looking back at 2015 when I launched my first blog “All Zesty”, I had no idea what I was doing. I did a little bit of research and on I went. You can actually still check it out on BlogSpot, but I copied all the posts and added them to my new site as well. Check out all my old posts here. (Please be kind, they’re not great and there are numerous typo’s.)

I did consider to edit and improve them before posting to my new site. I did however stop myself.

I don’t really have a lot of things I regret in my life. I’m a firm believer that all your choices, actions and experiences have a reason. There is always a lesson to be learned. I thought to myself that it would be really nice to look back in a few years and see how far I've come. My first blogging days were not consistent at all, I had no plan, no schedule, no real audience. BUT I had something to say, and I took action. I just did it.

I recently checked and had over 16 700 people viewing my content. Yes, that much. Woaw!

Does experience make you better or worse at life?

This is a discussion that me and my husband have had this numerous times…

Let me tell you a story. As a kid I always wanted to be grown up. Wanted to get to the next phase of my life. When I was in school I was wishing for the days at University. Once at university I was wishing for my working independent life.

Looking back I wonder if I truly, full heartedly, head-banging, jumping-up-and-down, singing-at-the-top-of-my-lungs-while dancing-at-3am-clubbing enjoyed my youth? I got in some cars I shouldn't have, drank more than I should've and jumped off some cliffs when I probably should have been stopped.

If you look at the bigger picture; does this make me a better person? Has all of my experiences made me a better decision maker?

Let’s look at both sides.

Do before you think:

Not having experience made me a risk-taker. I didn’t even know the consequences of some of my actions before taking them. In some cases that's good. You don't over think life. You take action, deal with any problems as they arise. It also made me more susceptible to mistakes and failures. It’s not perfect but it is progress. You're almost always in motion and you keep moving from one task to the next. You don't spend too much time thinking about what could've been and look for the next adventure.

Think before you do:

On the other hand, having had more experience in life, gave me the know-how to foresee what could go wrong. That makes me edge on the side of caution. This means I’m not taking as many risks and sometimes I get sucked into the never ending rabbit whole of paralysis by analysis. This does make me good in managing problems. I have already identified them as possibilities before starting. I know how to react and can do so with speed and accuracy. This has made me a better mom for it, for-sure!

I’ve had good and bad experiences on both sides of the discussion.

Going out of your comfort zone can be seen as a dangerous situation. Our brain and body is made to keep us safe in dangerous situations. When I feel like I'm getting complacent, I look at what scares me... and find ways to add more of that into my life.

"I actively and continuously include uncomfortable situations, in my life. I encourage myself to face them head on. "

This takes me back to my life in South Africa. I remember feeling extremely restless. Knowing I wanted to move somewhere, nationally or internationally. This was my way of saying, my body is getting comfortable and settling. In order to keep growing I need to move and force myself out of my comfort zone. This led to us moving to Dubai.

The same feeling led me to have a baby, start a business, move to the Netherlands and more recently to launch my podcast. Basically all major life decisions.

Similar to moving countries, launching a podcast was was something completely new to me. I stalled on buying a mic, writing the intro, writing the episodes and then recording them. I had resistance at every single step of the process. This is my brain, (with all my life experience saying) what if people don’t like it? What if you suck at it? What if they laugh at you? What if you fail?

How do you beat your old experienced brain? (oh and please note I am saying old, but in my opinion we start edging on the side of caution when we starting settling in life, mine was at about 25 years. Old, when we start choosing comfort to experience and excitement. You know the sudden moment you remember you use to only go out and start to party at 22:00 and now if you are not in bed by 21:30 you have dark bags under your eyes.

Do I think we should all be partying till 03:00 in the morning to stay young, engaged and keep our lives exciting? No, I believe we replace those "partying excitement" with something better. Working on a business, idea, family or passion. We work to keep ourselves in a peak state of growing, flourishing and learning, everything we know, everyday till we die.

How do you make your life experience work for you instead of against you?

Change your routine

A large amount of what we do is completely because of your subconscious routine. Mix it up by trying something new. Take a different route to work, going to a different shop than you normally go to. Another easy way to mix your routine up is by replacing your "No" with a "Yes".

"Should I go for a walk" : YES

"Do I feel like going for a run?" YES

"Do I feel like writing that blog?" YES

"Can I have more chocolate? "YES PLEASE

See you massive changes you can make to your life. By implementing this one simple idea.

Change the people you spend your time with.

"WOAW Lindi. Seriously! You don't even know the people I have in my life?"

Don't get me wrong, the people around is not necessarily the issue, but they may encourage you to play it safe. Not because they hate you and don't want you to succeed. Because they love you. First they want to keep you safe and comfortable. And two; if you are doing more with your life, it means they need to take a hard look at their own life. And subconscious that will make people uncomfortable.

How many times have you started a diet and then had a family member or friend say something along the lines of "Do you want to have a cup of coffee with me? And then bring the biscuits and say "just one, won't hurt, I promise Monday I will go to the gym with you" and then they never do.

Do something you love!

Take up dance lessons, art classes, do an advanced driving course. But take a hard look at what you LIKE to do. Not only doing what you have to do.

A simple way to implement this is do ask family and friends to gift you with experiences instead of presents for your birthday or Christmas. They can all chime in and you can go for that pottery class you haven't done since you where a kid.

This will get the happy vibes going, and suddenly you will have a new lease on life. Bonus if it is an activity where you can't use you phone.

Set a goal

Look at something you have always wanted to do. It can also be something that you want to fix that has always been bugging you. Make sure it is achievable. Set a timeline to when you want to achieve it by. For example. Run 5km race in 30min or less. Or something like start my own side-business by 2021. Follow with the final idea below.

One thing at a time

Do one thing, no matter how big or small EVERY.SINGLE.DAY that takes you closer to that goal. Register your company, email a prospective lead, do 10 squads in your bathroom before you take a shower. Keep moving forward, no matter how small that step is.

First day, create a vision board for all the designs you are going to create in you next pottery sessions. Next day, contact someone who owns her own pottery studio and ask them how they did it. Next day, find out where to buy a pottery oven, next day research how to start your own website.

Before you know it you will have your own business offering pottery classes and selling your products online.

All of these things will override your brains function to constantly keep you safe. You are meant to push your limits, get out of your comfort zone and into uncharted waters. Don't succumb to a life of blandness.

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