Updated: Oct 21, 2020
If you have your own business, you’re a mom, moving countries, ten million other tasks demanding your attention, you know you will have a rough patch. Let’s be honest, even if you have NONE of these, I bet you have been through a rough patch. Family stress, health issues, or whatever It may be.
I am here to tell you today, I feel you! I had a rough patch yesterday, well, probably this week and maybe even this month.
I have been lacking in motivation, stopped strategising and planning. And you know the saying “What doesn’t get planned doesn’t get done”. In comparison to February, I feel like I have been doing a lot less and focusing on everything and nothing all at once.
I went through this when we moved to Dubai and again when we moved to the Netherlands and now during Covid-19 or what seems to be "the Pandemic that knows now end".
Each time I’m able to recognise the signs earlier and earlier and implement the cure quicker and quicker. Unfortunately, I have found that it takes as long as it takes. You need to be kind to yourself, have patience but also have faith that this too shall pass.
Today I’m sharing with you my 7 steps to dealing with a rough patch and getting back to feeling like yourself.
7 Steps to deal with a rough patch
1. Stop digging
Do not beat yourself up. Do not make yourself feel bad for the way you are feeling. Do not try and tap blood out of a rock. Stop, just STOP. Breath. Stop making things harder for yourself. Stop feeling shit about feeling shit!
2. Acknowledge your feelings and share them
If you feel scared, drained, confused, angry or any other emotion, acknowledge it. Be content with feeling what you are feeling. Do not make excuses or feel bad for feeling the way you do. Bloody hell, they are your feelings, YOURS, just that is enough. You are justified to feel whatever you feel.
Find a friend, family member, or colleague you trust. If you have to add a disclaimer start by saying, “I will be sharing my feelings, please do not share your advice or point of view, I just need someone to listen”. My poor husband and mom knows the signs. My mom I have to remind every now and then but she gets it. But husband now knows to just listen and not try and find solution and fix everything.
This can be anything. Watch a movie, go walk the dog, write in your journal, go have a coffee all on your own.
One of the most misconceptions, especially among moms, are doing something for yourself is selfish. Self-care is NOT selfish, I will repeat that, SELF-CARE IS NOT SELFISH.
Get back to what matters most
Yesterday as I felt the triggers and feeling more drained although I was doing less and less. I decided to go back to what matters most. Well first I watch a sloppy rom-com. Then I made a plan to close my laptop, switch off my phone and play with my daughter. This morning we went to a park close to our home and we spent a good 2 hours playing, then took a bike ride to the shops and had a good chat. I felt ready to take on the world.
Get a plan
Or make a plan to make a plan. I printed out monthly and yearly calendars and set up a meeting with a VA to do a brainstorming session to see how we can hit the ground running come September.
But also be free to take it day by day. Have a plan to take things slow and maybe to 1 thing that moves you forward. Aim fo small easy wins.
Have courage to ask for help
I normally go to my husband for this. “I need to take the day” or “I’m not quite feeling like myself” “Can we have a chill movie weekend? I need a brake”
So this really helps. Otherwise I go to my mom.
I love my mom, but she tends to think I’m at on the brink of divorce or busy dying. I would however call her up and say, hop on a plane, Malia needs her Gran, and by chance she is an excellent cook so that always helps to relieve my stress. It is important to know who to reach out too. You need to focus on the people that will help and get you to a better place.
Last but definitely not the least….
Give yourself time to be proud of yourself. Celebrate what you have done, instead of focusing on what you have not done. Even if it is as small as, getting out of bed and washing your hair. I have been there.
Today I scheduled 5 clients calls. I will not focus on the blogs I have not written, I will focus on what I have done and achieved.
I have woken up early, played with my daughter without losing my shit and got dresses. That is a good day!
Make sure to take care of yourself, you have family and friends that love you, the world needs the special gifts and energy you have to offer!
**Please note this is not professional or medical advice. This is based on my own experience. If you ever feel like you cannot handle the challenge in your life, speak to a doctor or get professional help.